There are many assumptions in life on why people do certain things or act certain ways, but I think a lot of it boils down to something a lot us have in common.
We want to be loved.
Throughout my lifetime, I’ve had various sources tell me what exactly girls want. When I was in high school, Christina Aguilera said that whatever makes a girl happy sets her guy free and that it’s about holding hands and being in his arms—and that’s what a girl wants. Also in high school, I learned from an Amanda Bynes movie that what a girl truly wants in life is a dad, especially so that she can have that father-daughter dance with him on her wedding day. Some advertisements have told me that what a girl wants is to have flawless skin and perfect hair. Other more recent ads have told me that what a girl wants is to have a sense of empowerment and to be perceived as strong and independent.
While a girl generally wants many things in life, most of the more serious wants point to one truth: a girl wants to be loved.
There’s certainly nothing wrong with wanting to be loved, as it’s a desire most every person has, but it does become an issue when a young woman starts trying to fill a void with things that truly don’t have lasting value in hopes that they will ultimately end in love. Wearing skimpy clothes to try to turn some heads doesn’t mean a girl wants to be taken advantage of. Flirting with guys in hopes they will ask her out or pay more attention to her doesn’t mean a girl wants to be known as a flirt. Getting upset when a guy doesn’t call when he says he will (or doesn’t text back enough) doesn’t mean a girl is needy and that she wants to have 24-7 attention. Having a bit too much to drink doesn’t mean a girl wants you to rip her clothes off and have sex with her.
What a girl really wants is to be loved.
For a very long time, I thought I knew what this meant. I thought that love had to be falling in love and that a girl’s purpose in life was to grow up, find a man to marry and be his dream come true for the rest of their lives together. When I was in high school and college and watching all of my friends get boyfriends who then turned into fiancés and then husbands, I think I wanted that for myself because I wanted to be loved. But I realize now that a person’s sufficiency can’t be found in some fairy tale type of love.
It’s found in a much different kind of love.
I think the movie What a Girl Wants was on to something. The premise was a girl who wanted the love of her father. In reality, it’s the love of the Father that gives a girl her sufficiency—she’s not going to find it in anything or anyone else. She can try, but it’s not going to last.
Because what a girl really wants is the greatest love of all time. It doesn’t come with flowers, but flowers only die. It doesn’t come with chocolates, but those always disappear. It doesn’t come with diamonds, but those really aren’t a girl’s best friend. It doesn’t come with text messages, but those can be easily deleted. It doesn’t come with pie-crust promises, but those are completely worthless. It does, however, come with a promise and a love so full that it will never leave you questioning how adored you are.
And the best part is that she can have it for free without having to dress or act a certain way—and what a girl wants can easily become what a girl has.